Last edited: May 15, 2004

Senior Civil Servants Demand Oral Sex be Legalized, November 16, 2003 (satire)

By Mamak Cock

The recent bo liao preoccupation of Singaporeans—whether to legalize oral sex—has taken senior civil servants by surprise. Most of them said they felt the criminalization of oral sex discriminated against highly capable individuals like them who have to resort to cock sucking to rise through the ranks.

They felt while the mandarinization of the civil service has effectively and helpfully controlled the inflow of minority cocks, outdated colonial laws such as these will severely affect the functions of a meritocratic system.

Mr Kok Ah Sux, Permanent Suckertary to the Ministry of Angkat Bola, criticised the law, claiming that “it would seriously disrupt the current administration’s drive to find new suckers, I mean, successors.”

Mr. Kok continued, “Though we normally fill the ranks with family and friends, the next best person is always the one who is able to rise up the ranks quickly, and these people are usually ones who give, I mean, use their heads.”

Mr. Kok also lamented the anti-penile discrimination, saying, “What will they do next? Circumcise our salary?”

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