Open Secrets
In Pakistan, sex between men is strictly forbidden by
law and religion. But even in the most conservative regions, it’s also
embedded in the society.
Boston
Globe, July 11, 2004
Box 2378, Boston, MA 02107
Fax: 617-929-2098
Email: letter@globe.com
http://www.boston.com/news/globe/ideas/articles/2004/07/11/open_secrets/
By Miranda Kennedy
LAHORE—The first time Aziz, a
lean, dark-haired 20-year-old in this bustling cultural capital, had sex with
a man, he was a pretty, illiterate boy of 16. A family friend took him to his
house, put on a Pakistani-made soft-porn video, and raped him. Now, says Aziz
(who gives only his first name), he is “addicted” to sex with men, so he
hangs around Lahore’s red-light districts, getting paid a few rupees for
sex. At night, he goes home to his parents and prays to Allah to forgive him.
In the Islamic Republic of Pakistan, homosexuality is not
only illegal, it is a crime punishable by whipping, imprisonment, or even
death. But across all classes and social groups, men have sex with men. In
villages throughout the country, young boys are often forcibly “taken” by
older men, starting a cycle of abuse and revenge that social activists and
observers say is the common pattern of homosexual sex in Pakistan. Often these
boys move to the cities and become prostitutes. Most people know it
happens—from the police to the wives of the men involved.
In some areas, homosexual sex is even tacitly
accepted—though still officially illegal—as long as it doesn’t threaten
traditional marriage. In the Northwest Frontier Province (NWFP), which shares
many tribal and cultural links with neighboring Afghanistan, the ethnic
Pashtun men who dominate the region are renowned for taking young boys as
lovers. No one has been executed for sodomy in Pakistan’s recent history,
but across the border in Afghanistan, the Taliban (who are also overwhelmingly
Pashtun) executed three men for sodomy in 1998 by bulldozing a brick wall over
them, burying two of them alive. (The third survived, which meant, according
to Taliban law, that he was innocent, so he was taken to a hospital for
treatment.)
Among Pakistan’s urban elite, there is a growing
community of men who identify as gay, some of whom even come out to their
friends. Men meet on Internet bulletin boards, or at private pool parties with
lots of rented boys and heavy security. But they are a tiny, terrified
minority, living in cities such as Lahore, Karachi, or Islamabad, where the
cultural elite has carved out a niche for itself. In a country where alcohol
is forbidden except to Christians, dancing is banned, and the Koran guides
many aspects of criminal law, such men rarely step outside of their protected
world. (Because women in Pakistan inhabit, for the most part, a strictly
private realm, it is difficult to say with any certainty how common lesbian
relationships may be.)
Homosexuals in Pakistan walk a fine line between harsh
legal and cultural prohibition and some form of unspoken social acceptance.
“Islamic tradition frowns on but acknowledges male-male sex, and this plays
a role in permitting clandestine sex so long as it is not allowed to interfere
with family life, which is of paramount importance,” the San Francisco-based
sociologist Stephen O. Murray writes in “Sociolegal Control of
Homosexuality: A Multi-Nation Comparison,” a collection of scholarly essays
published in 1997. Further complicating matters, the most common form of male
homosexuality in Pakistan, according to Murray, is pederasty, where an older
man entices or coerces (sometimes forcibly) a younger boy into sex.
Among the many obstacles facing men who have sex with men
in Pakistan is this close association, in the eyes of many Pakistanis, between
homosexuality and exploitation. But they face their own psychological barriers
as well. Of the dozens of men interviewed for this article, almost none who
admitted to having homosexual sex identified themselves as “gay.” (All
would give only their first names, which could not be verified, or would speak
only anonymously.) Most do not even believe that homosexuality should be
legal.
Aziz says he now enjoys sex with other men, but he
believes that’s only because he isn’t able to have sex with women, who are
largely inaccessible—even in red-light districts, where there are many more
men than women for rent. And like most Pakistani men who have homosexual sex,
Aziz believes it is wrong. “The Verses of the Koran do not allow it,” he
says. “That’s the only thing that matters.”
According to the Koran, when the prophet Lot saw that his
people had been engaged in sodomy and debauchery, he said, “Come ye to men,
instead of women, lustfully? Ye are indeed a people given to excess.” When
they refused to repent their sins, Allah destroyed them: “And we rained a
rain upon them: and see what was the end of the wicked!”
The lines don’t seem to leave much room for
interpretation. But Faisal Alam, founder of the Al-Fatiha Foundation, a
Washington-based organization for gay and lesbian Muslims, argues that Lot’s
people were killed not because they had homosexual sex, but because they were
forcing sex on each other. That interpretation is unlikely to hold much weight
with Pakistan’s religious leaders. The matter is not open for debate
here—not among mullahs, academics, or even activists.
Like many Pakistani men who have sex with men, Aziz
believes he is plagued by a “satan,” or demon, that makes him desire men.
Veteran human rights lawyer Hina Jilani, who lives in Lahore and specializes
in women’s rights cases, says the inconsistent application of Sharia
(Islamic law) and Pakistani criminal law has blurred the line between abuse
and gay sex, and the emphasis on Islamic values has imbued the very word
“homosexuality” with a moral color.
“Here we have two totally different issues: exploited
boys and sex workers versus consensual sex,” Jilani says. “But the
majority of people will think of them as the same. Even people like myself who
do understand this issue haven’t been able to take it up, except in the
context of violence against people on basis of sex orientation.”
Jilani says there are innumerable cases of young
boys—some sex workers, some not—charged under Pakistan’s sodomy law,
even if they have been enticed into sex.
Jilani, who has defended dozens of children accused under
the law, says they spend long years in jail awaiting trial; their families are
stigmatized and often forced to disown them. In most parts of Pakistan, it’s
easier to lure a boy into sex than it is to catch a glimpse of a woman’s
legs. Sometimes it doesn’t take more than the promise of a new cricket bat.
A 16-year-old who identifies himself only as Khurram
knows all about that. Born in Dina, a small city in central Pakistan, his
father died when he was young, and by the time he was 8 he was sent out to
support his family. He says his employer sexually assaulted him, and he
eventually realized that if he let it happen, he would make more money than he
would serving chai. So he moved to the big city. Now he lives beside the bus
stand in Rawalpindi, sleeping during the day and emerging at dusk to wait for
work. For less than a dollar, he’ll let a man have sex with him on a string
bed behind a tobacco shop. “I don’t like what I do,” he says
sorrowfully. “I am doing it so my sister can go to school.”
There are no discernible red-light districts in the
Northwest Frontier Province. In Peshawar, the provincial capital, women billow
through the dusty streets in white “shuttlecock” burkas, named for the
netted veil over the face. Many of the city’s movie theaters have been shut
down, and playing music in local buses is banned.
Ruled by an alliance of six Islamic parties who recently
declared Sharia to be supreme over Pakistani national law, the NWFP is one of
the most religiously conservative regions of Pakistan. This is the province
that helped give rise to the Taliban, and where Al Qaeda leaders—including
Osama bin Laden—continue to seek refuge, according to the Pakistani
government.
Yet this is also the region of Pakistan where
homosexuality is most tolerated—however quietly. Among the Pashtun majority,
having a young, attractive boyfriend is a symbol of prestige and wealth for
affluent middle-aged men. Indeed, Pashtun men often keep a young boy in their
hujra, the male room of the house that the wife rarely enters. The practice is
so common that there are various slang terms for the boyfriends in different
regional languages: larke (boy), warkai, alec.
According to many people interviewed in Peshawar,
there’s a strict code of behavior in these relationships. The boy is always
the passive partner in sex and has often been coerced into the relationship;
he is given food and clothes by his partner, and is in may cases forbidden to
leave the relationship or marry. (In theory, the boys could marry when
they’re grown, but they are generally considered damaged, and end up
wandering the streets as outcasts.)
Sayed Mudassir Shah, a human rights activist based in
Peshawar, believes this goes on in part because of the extreme austerity of
the traditional culture. Even after marriage, women are kept separate from men
(except at night), and a strict interpretation of Islam discourages sports,
music, and TV. Indeed, says Sayed, the practice is deeply embedded in the
local culture. “It is so common to take boy lovers, that it is part of our
Pashtun folklore,” Sayed says. “One story tells of a wife crying to her
husband that he has made her jealous, because he is spending so much time in
the hujra with his boyfriend. This is folklore, but it is similar in life.”
Sex between men is also commonplace in Pakistan’s
gender-segregated madrassas, or religious schools, where students and mullahs
will go for months without setting eyes on a woman. Here, more than anywhere
else in Pakistan, the situation resembles that found among prison inmates,
where sex is mostly about availability and dominance rather than preference.
In many cases, families take their sons to madrassas because they cannot
afford to raise them themselves. A researcher with the AIDS Prevention
Association of Pakistan (who asked that her name not be used) cited a saying
such parents have for the teachers when they bring them their sons: “His
flesh is yours, but his bones are ours.”
A spirited, self-confident young man of 25 who lives in
Islamabad, the nation’s capital, and identifies himself only as Sajat, tells
me that he first had sex with a man at a religious school in a central
Pakistani village. But unlike most madrassa students and the boys in the
red-light districts, Sajat’s first sexual encounter with a man was by
choice. Now a well-paid government servant in Islamabad, he hoots with
laughter when he describes his preference for young, “hot-blooded, fighting
soldier men,” and happily recounts his regular trawls for boys through
Islamabad’s parks.
But Sajat’s irreverent, openly gay self abruptly
disappears when marriage comes up. He admits that he is engaged to a match of
his parents’ choosing, and will marry in the next two years. “Nature has
made females for males, so after I get married, I will stop having sex with
men,” he intones, as though dutifully.
Indeed, gay men in Pakistan usually succumb to family
pressure to marry, and those who are brave or rich enough to refuse to marry
live under constant threat. Human rights workers say that the dearth of
Pakistani gay-rights or community groups heightens the isolation and fear of
those who identify—and live—as homosexuals. There are groups working
against the spread of AIDS in Pakistan, but their work is often impeded by the
cultural disapproval of homosexual sex.
Haji Muhammad Hanif, the general secretary of the AIDS
Prevention Association of Pakistan, says that when he talks to male sex
workers in the red-light districts of Lahore, he first asks them, “Do you
know that gay sex is a heinous crime?” According to Pakistan’s official
figures, there were only some 2,000 cases of AIDS in Pakistan as of June 2003,
but data collection is limited by social taboos. Estimates by the World Health
Organization and UNAIDS put the 2002 figure at 78,000.
One bright spot for gay men in Pakistan is the Internet.
There are several online bulletin boards that function as city-specific dating
sites for gay men. The men who advertise on the sites are generally blunt
about what they want: “Masculine Top looking for hot sex in Islamabad,”
runs a typical listing. One site, Pakistan Gays, tries to be more of a
resource, with articles about homosexuality, health advice, and an anonymous
question-answer service. There’s even an audio version of sections of the
Koran available for download, which shows the extent to which gay men in
Pakistan hold onto their Muslim identity.
Pakistan Gays was founded two years ago by a middle-class
accounting student in Lahore who spoke with me only on the condition of
anonymity. He runs the site from Internet cafes so his family won’t find
out. As of June, the site had signed up 569 Pakistani members. Of those who
registered, 302 identified themselves as gay, 241 as bisexual, and the rest as
“transgender.”
The website’s founder is 20, and identifies as gay. He
says he is in love with an Indian man he met over the Internet, but he harbors
no hope of living in a gay relationship in either Pakistan or India, where
homosexuality is also illegal and tolerance of gays is not much greater than
in Pakistan. His plan is to refuse his parents’ demands that he marry, and
emigrate to the West with his Indian lover.
“It is difficult to be homosexual in Pakistan,” he
says, “because you always fear that if the people around you knew about your
sexuality, what bad feelings they would have about you. We think that we are
born this way, but still we feel we are doing wrong.”
• Miranda Kennedy is a journalist based in New Delhi.
She reports frequently for National Public Radio from across South Asia.
Homosexuality Isn’t Pervasive in Pakistan
Boston
Globe, July 25, 2004
Letters to the Editor
MIRANDA KENNEDY’S article in the
July 11 Ideas section (“Open Secrets”) was sweepingly assertive in her
claim that in Pakistan homosexual behavior was not an aberration but a
pervasive phenomenon across all classes and social groups, including villages
where young boys were allegedly “taken” by older men for sex.
Nothing could be farther from the truth in an Islamic
society like Pakistan. Contrary to Kennedy’s interpretation of the Holy
Koran, the book explicitly prohibits such aberrant sexual conduct.
There could be individual cases of homosexual behavior in
Pakistan, but it would be kept secret because the consequences of outing such
unnatural sexual activity would invite legal and criminal consequences
enshrined in Pakistan’s penal code, not to mention disgrace and ostracism
from Pakistani society.
It is possible that Kennedy’s gratuitous and
unjustified sweeping conclusions about Pakistan may have been influenced by a
culture of permissiveness and promiscuousness in India, the origin of Kama
Sutra. She is perhaps taking license in trying to extrapolate that observation
on Pakistan, however innocently or inadvertently, or even extracanonically.
Talat Waseem
Press counselor
Embassy of Pakistan
Washington, D.C.
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